How to Write a Eulogy: A Gentle, Practical Guide

Being asked to write and deliver a eulogy can feel like a great honour – and a heavy responsibility. In the midst of grief, finding the right words to reflect a life, a relationship, and a sense of goodbye can feel overwhelming.

A eulogy does not need to be perfect. It does not need to capture everything. At its heart, a eulogy is simply one person speaking with honesty and care about another.

This guide offers gentle guidance on how to write and deliver a eulogy in a way that feels manageable, personal and true.

What Is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral or memorial service that reflects on the life of the person who has died. It may include memories, stories, reflections, and words of gratitude or farewell.

Eulogies can be:

• Formal or informal
• Religious or non-religious
• Short or longer reflections
• Delivered by a family member, friend or celebrant

There is no single correct way to write or deliver one.

How to Write a Eulogy

Start With What Feels Most True

You don’t need to begin with an outline. Often, it helps to start by asking:

• What do I want people to remember about them?
• What feels most important to say?

This might be a quality, kindness, humour, resilience, or a simple truth about how they showed up in the world.

Write as you would speak. A eulogy sounds best when it feels natural, not rehearsed or formal.

Include Personal Stories or Moments

Specific memories help bring a person to life. These don’t need to be dramatic or profound – often, small everyday moments are the most moving.

You might include:

• A shared habit or saying
• A moment that captures their character
• A memory that makes you smile

Choose one or two stories rather than trying to include everything.

Keep It Simple and Manageable

A eulogy is usually three to five minutes long. That’s enough time to say something meaningful without feeling overwhelming.

If you’re unsure what to include, a simple structure can help:

1. A brief introduction
2. A reflection on who they were
3. One or two personal memories
4. A closing thought or farewell

You don’t need to explain their entire life story, just offer a glimpse.

Don’t Worry About Being Emotional

It’s okay to pause.
It’s okay to cry.
It’s okay to feel unsteady.

Grief belongs in this space. If you’re worried about becoming overwhelmed, it can help to:

• Bring a printed copy
• Mark places where you might pause
• Ask someone to stand nearby for support

There is no expectation to be composed.

How to Deliver a Eulogy

Speak Slowly and Breathe

When emotions rise, it’s natural to rush. Try to slow your pace, take gentle breaths, and allow silences to exist. Silence can be powerful — it gives space for words to settle.

Make Eye Contact When You Can

You don’t need to look at everyone. Looking at one friendly face, or gently lifting your eyes between sentences, can help ground you.

It’s also perfectly fine to read directly from the page.

Remember Why You’re There

You are not performing.
You are not being judged.

You are offering something deeply human: remembrance.

Most people listening will not remember your exact words – but they will remember how it felt to hear them spoken with care.

If Writing Feels Too Hard

Some people find writing a eulogy comforting. Others find it too difficult. Both responses are valid.

If you’re struggling, you might:

• Ask someone else to read words you’ve written
• Share memories with a celebrant who can help shape them
• Choose a poem or reading instead of a speech

A eulogy is one way to honour a life — not the only way.

A Final Thought

A good eulogy doesn’t try to say everything. It simply tells the truth, kindly.

If your words come from a place of love, they will be enough.

At Leedam, we believe that funerals, like the landscapes that hold them, are at their most meaningful when they are simple, honest and unforced. A eulogy is no different. Speak gently. Say what matters. And trust that your presence alone already says a great deal.